Corporations Law Paper

Here I am typing at 4.50 pm after a severe lack of sleep of 18 hours, a bottle of red bull, a finished corporations law paper, and a lunch of salted fish and chicken fried rice. It seems weird and ironic that a refusal of "going to bed" signal has been sent up to my little brain. I have not stayed up a whole night to study for one paper for such a long time that I have seem to forgot the feeling of extreme tiredness. I have absolutely no intention of staying up the whole night to study for a paper that I have started preparing ahead of everyone else. Whether this has been the attribution to stress or the strong effects of red bull(I need some answers from the phsy ppl), I experienced a sleepless night.

Tossing around the bed, intervals of reading corporations law notes on directors' fiduciary duties which did not turn up in the exam, and on and off company from Ting's smses. I felt seriously desperate to fall asleep as I know I will not be able to focus the next day during exam and true enough I felt so tired after doing 2 questions that I felt like giving up. However, I was lucky enough to have special individual examination arrangements, a walk around the corridor seems to have clear my mind and steered the least amount of strength and concentration left to complete the paper. It may not be one with perfect grades but it will be a memorable one as I have never in my whole life stayed up awake just for a paper before.

Maybe its just excuses to forgive myself again on the poor grades but being easy on one self makes life easier for me and others around me. I am one of those lazy people who can afford not to finish studying but never afford to miss sleep. Excuses for forgiving myself that allows for failure, for wrong doings, lies, lack of responsibilities,etc. Tired from that forgiveness of one self, the lack of drive and constant reprimand of myself. Thus I guess its time to sleep.

Cheers

Jas - enjoyed typing crap

Stuvac

Last week was the beginning of Stuvac and surprisingly I did manage to have a good start in studying. However, the progress of studying seems to slow down and almost come to a halt as days passed. Distractions came and passed, time flies, things happened, but my progress of studying seems stagnant. Surprisingly, no matter how hard I seem to physch myself this term, my drive to excellent grades seems to die off. Have I become lazier or the drive to compete which I felt so close and pressurizing is not present in this different environment? Thinking of the days where intense competitive feelings rising amid friendships, the mixture of feelings of disappointment, jealously, feelings of guarding grades preciously, were long gone. I do miss the drive but surprisingly I feel more at peace with myself here. No more longing to do better than my closest friends, no more disappointment when I see my friends' grades. Guess either the environment has make me lazier or its just my inate lazy charcter at work. With exams coming up in just one day, I need to focus and no more Arrested Development.

Cheers

Jas