I have never considered myself a loser but I may be considered one in others' eyes. For example, the incident of "Professional Accounting" has downgraded my level to that of a PRC. Ignoring that slight diversion of topic, I will like to begin this topic by a definition of a loser. Loser=One that is bad in quality. However, I shall be objective today instead of going all personal.
Everyone has first impressions of everyone and my first impressions of people are always wrong (my really good friends' first impression often fall under the category of "no more than a hi bye friend") and thus I do not like to judge a person based on first impressions on a single action he or she has done. Instead I always look beyond their actions and try to see his or her character that drive certain actions. Some people just rank themselves above anyone else and thus this drive their competive actions whereas for some, insecurity just drives them into a category of "try hards".
Although I cannot say that I have a vast experience people as compared to my parents or any others, I guess have a fair share of meeting different types of people who have vast principles and perceptions from me. Thus from my own observations, I feel that insecurity is a key factor of some people which we labelled as losers. I admit that I have been insecure before, lots of my friends have been as well. And thats where true friends come into the picture, where support has been offered to help get over that phrase and we ourselves worked hard to get over it mentally. However for some people, it seems that their insecure phrase never ends, with reasons either being the lack of true friends or simply, he or she refuse to accept that fact.
For example, losers on the superficial level can come across as helpful and knowledgable. With time, it turned into some manipulation techniques (to me) to boost his confidence. Words mean nothing without actions and actions without putting the effort does not mean anything as well. To me I help a friend because I wanted to, not because I want people to think I am a good person and because he or she who needs help is a friend. Friends to me mean alot and wherever, whenever its within my limit to help, I will help without needing anything else. However, insecure people have a different perception from mine(guess most people are different). They are like people who will say yes and then change his mind and act as if he is the busiest person in the world or its other people's fault if he has failed in your expectation in regards to that "voluntary help". Seriously everyone makes mistakes, although the easiest thing to do is to push the blame on another person, it does not help rectify any problems. It just says alot about your character.
Stating a personal experience with an insecure person, there has been once where I have been so sick, that I cannot stop vomitting (I was not drunk, I was SICK), but no one volunteered to accompany me to see a doctor. Seriously since the doctor is just a street across my place, its not a big deal but having someone acutally volunteering will be nice especially all of them were having nothing to do and watching dvds in the living room. Anyway, no one bothered about my condition until a Hongkie friend of mine (huge reasons why I loved Hongkies), called and asked if i wanted to sing ktv. Upon hearing that I was sick, they changed their plans about their beloved ktv plans and came over to my place to bring me some porridge. I did not know about their plans until they came. That was an event that touched my heart so much that I will never forget. Anyway, after that, the loser actually then asked in front of my friends do I want to eat porridge because he can cook for me if i want to. Please why would I want you to cook porridge when my friends brought porridge for me already??? Anyway because my friends are nice and the loser decided he has to be a nicer person, he volunteered to cook for my meals when I was sick although I told him my friends going to send porridge over. That incident changed my whole opinion of him. I always thought although he is a loser, he has redeeming factors. But I guess his redeeming factors are again techniques to manipulate peoples' impressions. Guess all these attributes to his sense of insecurity. Its like how people are born attention seekers and they carry it off but for him, his insecurity which caused his action seeking behaviour to put people off. His behaviour has been so predictable that I can predict with 99% accuracy what he is saying or going to do each day.(Hmm maybe I am a LOSER too) Hence I have managed to get out of the vicious cycle of his manipulations. I know I have been mean to him and probably he does not deserve this. Hence I make up my mind that instead of bitching so much I should just be direct (as usual I will offend alot of people) and guess I will do it soon. However, hopefully he can understand that its not personal but maybe a huge difference in perceptions and principles.
Cheers
Jas
Me & Carrie (+ Fly) outside Tempest Two
Fish Market
The Car I crashed
Me & Carrie (+ Fly) outside Tempest Two
The Car I crashed
